Unpopular opinion (apparently): The Aziz Ansari story is an example of rape culture. Rape culture is part of patriarchal culture but more specific and everything patriarchal culture does contributes to rape culture. Rape culture includes *everything* that makes it easier for rape to continue. Berating and insulting women who share stories of coerced sexual encounters is part of rape culture because it makes society a hostile place for women who experience these things which makes us not tell our stories and quieting our stories emboldens the predatory members of society.
And let’s end this bullshit about how a woman sharing her story about a man is “ruining his life”. How fragile are men that their very lives are threatened by momentary embarrassment? Or maybe they lost a job? Was it due to a completely unbelievable and uncorroborated story? A single spiteful woman telling a tale she could have invented out of thin air? Or was there a story and then another. And another. And another. Which time did a man lose his job unjustly? Or do you just fear it could happen? How many women have lost their jobs for speaking up about an abusive male colleague? Is this simply a matter of men fearing that women will do to them what’s been done to us?
Are you feeling that pressure? The pressure do be quieter— more demure. To use nicer language? Make everything more palatable? Maybe you’ve thought to yourself that women might be pushing this too far? Don’t fall for it. It’s exactly what they’ve always done. They’ve convinced us that we’re being too harsh, too loud, too open, too powerful. Change is scary.
It’s time to decide if #metoo was a moment or if it will become a real movement. The movement does not stop with eliminating rape. It does not conquer the Harvey Weinsteins and pretend it is finished. The movement doesn’t fear those who won’t hear the message. The movement will not sugar-coat language to try and convince society that women have value. Nahhhhh. Time to step it up. Don’t ask for it, don’t say it nicely so that maybe they will give us our power back. Don’t let them pretend they don’t know or they just don’t like the words we are using. Take it back. Society stole your power from the minute you were born. TAKE IT BACK. Don’t ask nice.