I can’t even believe how much better I’m feeling! Tuesday night I cried, Wednesday morning I woke up and cried. My psychiatrist couldn’t see me so he called in a prescription for clonazepam, I was popping those twice a day.
A friend brought the girls home from school on Tuesday because I was so zombified that I was worried about driving.
My mom came down on Wednesday and while we usually end up at Costco and Jungle Jim’s, this time we stayed home. We just hung out, put a roast in the crock pot, helped the kids with their homework. And we talked. Not about anything specific really but when I would go outside for a smoke, she would come out with me so we could keep talking. It was just a really nice day.
On Thursday, JT and I had a counseling appointment so we were able to talk about things that we can both do when something like this happens. That night, he scratched my back and played with my hair while I fell asleep. As embarrassing as it is to admit (because I Am a Rock – I touch no one and no one touches me) I can’t think of anything more soothing.
Friday, I was feeling like a normal person again! I made real coffee (French press instead of Keurig) and drank it out of my very favorite new travel mug. It’s a pretty mug, it’s made of recycled materials, it’s BPA-free plastic (I can NOT drink out of metal), it’s not top heavy, it never leaks at all, it’s completely recyclable AND it’s dishwasher safe. Bliss.
After dropping the kids at school, I went to Trader Joe’s to hunt down some items for a care package (does ANYONE carry spearmint extract???) and picked up a few little treats and a gorgeous Jasminum. I don’t know the exact variety so I can’t post a photo of what the flowers will look like but they are supposed to be very fragrant. I also stopped off at our bakery and bought all the glazed donuts they had left.
As soon as Jt had the fire cleaned up, he was online picking out a new range. We had just re-committed to paying off our debt and repairing our credit scores in preparation for getting out of this house. OH, THAT REMINDS ME. While chatting with my mom on Wednesday I realized that DUH, our ability to refinance our mortgage is based on the appraisal value of our home, not the market value. Holy hallelujahs, the county appraised our house this year as being worth about $2500 more than we owe, let the refinance begin!
Back to the new stove. I convinced Jt that our new determination meant that we should at least see if we can live without the stove until our tax return comes in so that we won’t be taking out another line of credit. We made it five days. It wasn’t pretty. So yesterday we headed to Home Depot. We knew the dishwasher and microwave had to be replaced before we list the house so we bought a new range, a matching microwave range hood and a matching dishwasher.
Jt had checked around online a little but we didn’t bother with hunting around too much because, not only did Home Depot have lower prices in general, we are also committed to buycotting Home Depot as a way of supporting their policies of non-discrimination and equality. I’m on an email list for the AFA (it’s safe to click, I linked to the Wikipedia page), I don’t know how it happened but it sure does give me a window into one of the strangest organizations out there. I save a lot of their emails so I can do blogposts about the crazy. Here’s a screenshot of a recent email:
So that’s why we shop Home Depot.
While there, I also picked up two small Primrose plants and a GORGEOUS Golden Moss.
I don’t like spending money. Getting things feels good but swiping the debit cards makes me feel awful. I love this image I saw going around on Facebook:
However, there will always be those times when spending just a little bit of money on something you don’t need is so good for your emotional health that it can almost be counted as a “need.” A first world need, sure, but so are my antidepressants so I say it counts.
**The first photo links to the bakery website, the stove photo links to the listing on Home Depot’s website.