If you get the reference in the title I apologize. Worst episode of the best show. Meaning I’d still rather watch it than say, any episode of The Bachelor.
And with that, I bring you The Airing of Grievances.
- The most pressing grievance at this moment is directed at the person responsible for labeling the Trader Joe’s food packages. Who thought it was okay to leave the warning label off of the Candy Cane Joe-Joe’s?? They can’t expect us to just KNOW that rapidly eating eight cookies and chasing it with a coke will lead straight to barfish feelings!
- Next up is Christmas shopping. (Note to self-rejecting the rampant consumerism of the season will not only feel good and righteous but will liberate you from the hell of shopping) Brick and Mortar shopping is out, OUT, O.U.T. I enjoy shopping sometimes. I love a slow, casual browse in an eclectic gift shop or used bookstore. I don’t mind the usual trips to Kroger and Target. I HATE shopping when it’s crowded, when I’m pressed for time, when I have to find something and no one seems to have it. So I do most of my shopping online. I don’t like feeling like I’m harming local business and perhaps leaving an even larger carbon footprint. But I’m willing to take the conscience hit to avoid the FUCKING FLUORESCENT LIGHTS. But shopping online is rife with its own problems even apart from the liberal guilt. Usually when a package arrives I greet it much the way my puppy greets company. Complete with the jumping and squealing and maybe even some licking. Not really, I try to avoid those kind of lawsuits. The problem comes in when we are receiving a billion deliveries a day and I’m never sure what’s in the box except for those times that in comes in it’s original, marked box instead of the plain, cardboard Amazon box and that just ruins the surprise for everyone. This has only happened twice that I can think of and both times it was my Christmas gift from Jt. The first time he saved it really well by having a mutual friend call me and ask that I watch for the item and don’t mention it to his wife because it’s her gift and he had it sent to our house so she wouldn’t see it. ANYWAY. The awesome thing about all the boxes this year is that Elliet has tons of materials to use for her homemade rattie playground which doubles as a time-consuming activity for the rainy winter break. So I guess Christmas shopping online is pretty awesome but I’m certain that I started this thinking that it was not, in fact, awesome. Oh YES. The problem is hiding any damn thing. No, that’s not really it. Well, it sort of is because even though we agree to not open any package not addressed to us if we happen to be the one to receive the box not addressed to us, it’s still pretty easy to guess what it is in the box. Then there’s the issue of a shared computer. I can’t even begin to get into the troubles of ordering a gift for someone who shares your computer! Especially if that someone also likes to nose around on your phone as well. To conclude this ridiculously long, rambling grievance: Christmas shopping can suck it, online is better but only if you are stealthy. And also, boxes are fun.
- Insert rant about the AFA, Feaux News, CBN and the like here. OH MY gods, the “War on Christmas” and just nonsense after nonsense. I just don’t have the energy for that level of bullshit.
- My next grievance is aimed at every single anti-Occupy person I’ve run across. I enjoy well-thought criticism that is given in the form of encouragement but that only tends to come from respected minds like Naomi Klein or Noam Chomsky. What I see instead is the derision coming from people around me, friends even, who really don’t understand the Occupy movement. I’ve been shocked at times to read this kind of ignorant judgment coming from people I respect, the kind of people who know better than to judge something based on the media’s portrayal of it. They will argue that they *do* understand but then they go on to say things that make it very clear that they do not know what they think they know about the movement and the people involved. It is rather hilarious though, to imagine people sitting at their computers, ranting to Facebook about how those OWS kids need to quit standing around holding signs and actually DO something. Cozy there?
- Final grievance. Addiction. Here comes the heavy. Here comes the confession. I can get addicted to ANYTHING. At different times in my life I have been addicted to scratch-offs, computer games (boggle. not even kidding), porn and, most recently, alcohol. Of course there are a plethora of addictions I live with that don’t count like caffeine and nicotine. The four on this list have had hugely negative consequences so they are in a league all their own. I’ve lost jobs, I’ve damaged relationships and I’ve lived with my own shame due to these. While the first three on the list were harmful and caused a great deal of pain, alcohol is clearly the winner for harmful addictions. After mulling over treatment programs for the last few months I finally just stopped. I think the fear of having to go to a program and the even greater fear of being labeled led to my choice to just stop drinking on my own. The more I read about treatment, the more I hated the idea that I had to look to something greater than myself in order to quit. I couldn’t do that honestly and I knew I had the power to do it within me anyway. I’m in the process of writing a post about what finally clicked for me. But for now, I will just air my grievance against addiction. Anything that turns beer into an enemy is just a asshole that needs to be put down.
Just to round things out, there will be no Feats of Strength and that is your Festivus miracle.