I Love a Good Roundup

I have two separate email accounts.  I use yahoo for anything that has even the slightest chance of attracting spam and I use gmail for the good stuff.  My yahoo email has somehow been subscribed to several conservative newsletters (I suspect my dad).  So I go through every few days and delete everything, occasionally opening these newsletters (or “action alerts”) first to see what the crazies are up to.  In a stroke of sheer genius I decided to do a roundup of what showed up in my email this week.  I will give credit but I will not link to the sites.

First up is Conservative Action Alerts from something called the United States Justice Foundation:

…somewhere, down the road, between now and the Election of 2012, he may just take away all of our Constitutional rights by Executive Order. And, when you say, “Nah, he couldn’t do that here because we are protected by a written Constitution,” remember this:

In 1934, the Weimar Republic was protected by a written Constitution that was just as powerful as the Constitution of the United States. The Weimar Constitution required the President and Chancellor of Germany go to the members of the Reichstag for authority to do anything. Once he was able to rule by decree, IT TOOK ADOLPH HITLER EXACTLY 39 DAYS TO DESTROY THE WEIMAR CONSTITUTION and become an absolute dictator—and assume the power of life and death over every subject in the THIRD REICH.

Another from the USJF:

REAL I.D. was enacted in 2005, to make it more difficult for people who are not citizens, to secure a state-issued driver’s license. The law takes effect in May, 2011. At that time, every States will be required to create a drivers’ license that conforms to new federal “standards.”

In short: REAL I.D. allows the government to convert your state issued drivers’ license into a REAL Nazi/Communist-style National Identification Card, with all the scary attributes of an Internal Passport like people in Nazi/Communist-Europe were required to carry.

Each email from this group is punctuated by at least eight request for donations.  Hmmm.

*****

Next up is something called Live Prayer, they send out a weekly “devotional”.  Before the devotional there are the following headers which signify a few paragraphs each:

DAILY DEVOTIONAL WEDNESDAY JANUARY 26, 2011 (Acts 1:14)

***JANUARY FINANCIAL UPDATE:

***CHECK OUT the new website for “The 9-11 Christian Center at Ground Zero”

***WATCH THESE SPECIAL VIDEOS FROM THE OPENING WEEKEND OF THE “9-11 CHRISTIAN CENTER AT GROUND ZERO”

***THE LIVEPRAYER TV PROGRAM!!!

***GOLDFORSOULS.COM !!! In the first few weeks, it has been incredible how the Lord is using people who are sacrificing their old gold, diamonds, and jewelry to fund His work here at Liveprayer. Rather than getting ripped off by receiving a check back for a fraction of the value of the items you send in, we send you a donation receipt for the full value of your items you donate! What you donate to Gold for Souls will not only get you a tax deductible donation receipt for your old gold, diamonds, and jewelry, but it will pay you eternal dividends since the funds will be used to help lead this nation back to God and Biblical Truth and the souls of men to faith in Jesus Christ!

YOU CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP

***THE LIVEPRAYER CHURCH!!!

***BE PART OF TURNING THIS NATION BACK TO GOD AND HIS TRUTH AND MEMORIALIZE SOMEONE YOU LOVE IN THE PROCESS!!! To help cover the construction costs of the new “9-11 Christian Center at Ground Zero,” we have 10,000 bricks that people can personally engrave for $100 each, that will form the main walls of the sanctuary where souls will be saved, and a nation will be turned back to God and His Truth!!! This is an incredible opportunity to honor someone you love, and memorialize them at a place millions of people will visit, and God will use to bring revival to this nation!!!

It is here that we finally reach the devotional:

Each day I try to do my best to encourage you and give you practical guidance to help translate your faith into your every day life. Today is one of those core areas that is critical to the spiritual life of a family. Men, you are REQUIRED to take the spiritual headship of your home and make prayer part of the daily life at your house. You should pray with your spouse EVERY day alone, and the two of you should be praying with your kids EVERY day.

*insert witty comment* (I’m gonna go throw up)

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About Just Vegas

I'm a 30-something married SAHM which means the nightmare scenario that plagued my early 20's has become reality. Funny thing is, I kinda like it. I have 3 lovely daughters who are educated at home and at a part-time alternative school. I love animals and I love people (in the general sense, not everybody all the time). I have no income to speak of, I'm not crafty and I hate cooking. My skills include reading the internet, watching tv on the internet and conversing with people on the internet. I'm an armchair philosopher, spiritualist, agnostic, feminist, liberal, activist, political pundit and tv critic.
This entry was posted in Christians are Special, Snark, Some People are FUCKED UP. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to I Love a Good Roundup

  1. sharon says:

    “Gold for souls.” You’re right. It’d be hard to make this stuff up.

    I imagine the anti-Real-ID’ers overlap quite a lot with the anti-undocumented-immigrant-ers. I wonder how they reconcile that. I carry neither a green card nor my passport, just my driver’s license. How do they propose distinguishing between Real Americans ™ with brown hair/brown eyes/deep tan/foreign accent, and furriners?

  2. leftover says:

    Did you see Michael Voris explain Why we need a Christian Dictator at Christian Nightmares?
    Or how about the woman who hung a dog from a tree and burned it to death for chewing on her bible? It was a devil dog.

    And being inspired toward a little innovation after reading the SOTU speech today…and cognizant of how people love to spend money in religious causes…I’m going to put my soul up for auction. You may remember ol’ leftover is an atheist. Very low profit potential in atheism, which never concerned me before but in these trying times I think some flexibility could help get me over the hump, as they say.

    Here’s the deal. I will put my soul up for public bid. Any organized religion can bid. Christian. Islam. Judaism. Heathenry. Whatever Minimum bid is $1000 dollars. (Certified checks. Cash welcome, but cannot be returned in case of a low bid.) Whoever bids the most within an allotted time, (a month of Sundays maybe), gets me as a dutiful member. (Politics not included…the Socialism stays…but you never know…The Power of the Spirit and all that…but no promises.)
    I’ll let you know when the web site goes up. I may even go Facebook.

  3. Patrick D. says:

    I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. I especially loved the whole gold bit thing.

  4. Suzanne says:

    Today my husband and I disagreed over whether we should feed the kids oatmeal or cereal and I was like, “You’re just an oatmeal Nazi, who is coming to round up the cold cereals and take away my constitutional rights and stuff.” Because that just makes sense. Give me Cheerios or give me death.

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