I started this blog almost six years ago. It started out as a diary of sorts. I had been feeling like I couldn’t be myself around other people and I wanted a place to feel free. I named it with Burning Man in mind because my experience there was my first experience in a safe community. I felt no judgment, no anger, no fear. I wanted to try and replicate that freedom on a much smaller scale.
Over the years I have come here to vent, to confess, to praise, to sort out my thoughts and sometimes just to attempt some creativity. There were times when it was tempting to try and turn the blog into something that would generate hits but the desire was usually fleeting.
Last year my dear internet pal, Susan Campbell, did a little blog marketing for me from her popular former blog, Dating Jesus. All of a sudden my stats went through the roof! Riding that high, I tried to post things that would keep more people interested in coming here. I fretted over my numbers and spent my days combing the internets for something interesting to post. Blogging became a drag. I started abandoning the blog for weeks at a time. Part of this was due to my struggles with PTSD and its related symptoms but a lot of it was just that I couldn’t keep up with the pace I had set for myself.
I recently gave up the “informative” posting and returned this blog to its original condition. Earlier this week I wrote a post about getting more comments. It was supposed to be funny but instead got some pretty nasty comments. I know you are supposed to ignore them but I enjoy a little scuffle every now and then. I read back through these comments last night and realized that in many cases I was trying to defend myself. The truth is, I don’t need to defend myself against false, nasty claims. I know they are not true, my family knows they are not true and nobody else should care. I had forgotten once again why I’m here.
I have scrubbed the comments and the replies for now though I did entertain the idea of creating a Troll Habitat page where they would not be fed but their vitriol would still be on display. Maybe I’ll take a poll. Yes, I believe I will.