I Forgot

I started this blog almost six years ago.  It started out as a diary of sorts.  I had been feeling like I couldn’t be myself around other people and I wanted a place to feel free.  I named it with Burning Man in mind because my experience there was my first experience in a safe community.  I felt no judgment, no anger, no fear.  I wanted to try and replicate that freedom on a  much smaller scale.

Over the years I have come here to vent, to confess, to praise, to sort out my thoughts and sometimes just to attempt some creativity.  There were times when it was tempting to try and turn the blog into something that would generate hits but the desire was usually fleeting.

Last year my dear internet pal, Susan Campbell, did a little blog marketing for me from her popular former blog, Dating Jesus.  All of a sudden my stats went through the roof!  Riding that high, I tried to post things that would keep more people interested in coming here.  I fretted over my numbers and spent my days combing the internets for something interesting to post.  Blogging became a drag.  I started abandoning the blog for weeks at a time.  Part of this was due to my struggles with PTSD and its related symptoms but a lot of it was just that I couldn’t keep up with the pace I had set for myself.

I recently gave up the “informative” posting and returned this blog to its original condition.  Earlier this week I wrote a post about getting more comments.  It was supposed to be funny but instead got some pretty nasty comments.  I know you are supposed to ignore them but I enjoy a little scuffle every now and then.  I read back through these comments last night and realized that in many cases I was trying to defend myself.  The truth is, I don’t need to defend myself against false, nasty claims.  I know they are not true, my family knows they are not true and nobody else should care.  I had forgotten once again why I’m here.

I have scrubbed the comments and the replies for now though I did entertain the idea of creating a Troll Habitat page where they would not be fed but their vitriol would still be on display.  Maybe I’ll take a poll.  Yes, I believe I will.



About Just Vegas

I'm a 30-something married SAHM which means the nightmare scenario that plagued my early 20's has become reality. Funny thing is, I kinda like it. I have 3 lovely daughters who are educated at home and at a part-time alternative school. I love animals and I love people (in the general sense, not everybody all the time). I have no income to speak of, I'm not crafty and I hate cooking. My skills include reading the internet, watching tv on the internet and conversing with people on the internet. I'm an armchair philosopher, spiritualist, agnostic, feminist, liberal, activist, political pundit and tv critic.
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12 Responses to I Forgot

  1. Patrick D. says:

    Life’s too short to deal with assholes. Delete and block the trolls.

  2. Beth says:

    Can’t be safe and free with trolls around. I agree with Patrick!

  3. Christie says:

    I vote leave and ignore. You can’t delete their existence (at least not without criminal charges 😉 – but their only power is in acknowledgment and attention. Either way, I think it’s great to revisit why you blog in the first place. Forget ratings, just enjoy yourself, it’s supposed to be something for you anyway. Love ya super SIL! 😉

  4. Gigi says:

    Trolls add variety – I rather enjoy them as long a they aren’t monopolizing the conversations. or hurting feelings. I think concern trolls are my favorite!

  5. Gigi says:

    or you could make their own habitat and then do what markos does and post the ‘best of’ the troll action….he does that with hate mail. It’s one of my favorite diaries over at dk.

  6. Chelsea says:

    I agree with Christie keep and ignore if you think about it no one’s opinion matters but yours this is your place as you said to be free. Be free and don’t listen to those who think they can bring you down.

  7. leftover says:


    Troll trouble?
    If you publish a blog like Susan’s, trolls are to be expected and should be tolerated to a degree. If they remain on generally topic and don’t attempt to hijack the space, carpet-bomb or do anything else that discourages others from commenting, then a little stirring of the pot can be productive and informative. But, as you stated, it’s also demanding. Not only on the time but the effort in moderating must be exasperating. Susan’s a pro and even she has reached her limits with some folk, (although she still tolerates me…????). And the current social and political climate guarantees a test to even the most skilled and tolerant moderator.

    But if the blog is to be of a more personal nature, like you’re returning to, this old troll says, “Fuck ’em.” Journalists, bloggers and bloviators may feel an obligation to allow a degree of hate and discontent because of some notion of “free speech” or an attempt to attract visitors to enhance the blog’s status in the eyes of advertisers. But someone like you, who reaches out as a friend, who invites us into her house, her heart, as a friend, to share experiences and opinions in a friendly, nurturing, environment, should not be expected to tolerate or perpetuate the hateful behavior of those whose self-worth is defined through the derision of others.
    Your house. Your rules.

    LOVE YOU VEGAS!!!!!!!!
    My best to the family. I shall now return to Trolling for Trotsky.

    • vegas710 says:

      LEFTOVER!!! Where you been?? I really need to get more involved with Susan’s new blog. I agree with what you said here and I think I am going to create the Troll Habitat just for fun.

      • leftover says:

        Well…I’ve been Trolling for Trotsky.
        And current events and the political/economic/social climate has created such an interest in alternatives, (change…not reform), that just keeping up with theorists these days keeps my reading list looooong.
        And poverty can be a full-time job. The days I’m able to get out and move around I spend my time either trying to find work I can do or trying to find healthcare support for the meds I need to get out and move around. Arthritis is downright tedious in the winter.

        To remind myself to stop by more often I have subscribed. I can be a little lax with that account sometimes but it will keep you on the to-do list.

        You’ve been warned.
        And a troll habitat can be fun…as long as there’s enough coffee and Bacon.
        Your house. Your rules. I’ll try to behave.

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