Okay, my de-lurking post had 27 hits. Only FIVE of you commented! What the hell, people? What. The. Hell.
The only reasonable explanation is that each of you five visited that specific post five times. Two other hits were accidental hits from searches for cartoon flashers. Internets, you’ve let me down.
My only course of action is obvious. I must write about things that will make you want to tell your friends about this blog. I’m thinking controversy. Not just controversy but *jazz hands* controversy.
So here we go. I don’t like religion in any form. It serves only to divide. I don’t believe in the Bible anymore because it occurred to me that I don’t HAVE to. Who knew?
I am a FLAMING liberal. I’m as left as they come for most issues. I’m certain that there are some decent, thinking (maybe) people on the right and, perhaps more importantly, there are many people on the right who I love very, very much. However. Your leaders and talking heads are fear-mongering, racist, divisive, violent and OH SO SMUG.
I enjoy using curse words. I love them all, I can’t even decide on a favorite. It doesn’t mean that I’m stupid, as so many smug puritans would have you believe. It puts passion behind my words. It serves a purpose. Think about it. In this list, which ones are more appropriate to the message?
- I’m on a boat, you guys! OR I’m on a boat, motherfucker!!
- We’re not too old for this STUFF! OR We’re not too old for this SHIT!
- Shake it fast! OR Shake your ass!
- I’ve had it with these darn snakes on this darn plane! OR I’ve had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!
- Darn the police! OR Fuck the police!
- Or how about we replace Lily Allen’s Fuck You with Darn You?
When a swear word is called for and you replace it with a non-swear word you end up sounding like Ned Flanders.
Now, I’ll take this a step further. I cuss in front of my kids. At ages 2, 5 and 7, they’ve yet to pick up this habit. This is because the few times they have said a cuss word, I have told them that it is a word for grown-ups. I’ve never called anything a bad word. For the borderline words like “frick” or “heck” I explain that these are words that are okay to use at home but, some people don’t like these words so we shouldn’t say them at school or church or around the grandparents. So far, so good.
Alright, moving on. Hmmm…controversy, controversy…I got nothing, what you got?